As my life shifts and changes, I desire to become more empowered and conscious about how I use social media and I wanted to share some of what I am going through. I’ll share three questions I have been asking myself and journaling about, which are leading me in a nice direction.
But first, what exactly do I mean by more empowered and conscious? Empowered meaning that I am not blaming anyone else for how social media is making me feel. Conscious meaning that I am aware and choosing how and why I engage. Why is this important to me? Because my energy is precious and I want it channeled in ways that heal.
I have always enjoyed social media, but I notice it can be addicting or bring up insecurities. It can be a strong drug that puts me to sleep or it can be tool to help wake me up and I desire the latter. I took two years off of social media altogether when I was getting sober and embarking on a path of healing. I didn’t miss it and it was during this time period when I wrote my first book. However, as an unknown no-budget writer and yoga teacher who is rebuilding my life from scratch, I got back on social media to share my writing and yoga class announcements. Overall I have had a great experience being back on social media, but I have to pay pretty damn close attention not to go into auto-pilot zombie scroll mode or start attaching myself worth to reactions. PS I don’t do TikTok because I found it too strong of a drug. Instagram and Facebook are less alluring in my experience.
Here are some of the questions I have been asking myself to increase my awareness with social media use - maybe they will be helpful to you.
- “What is my purpose for sharing content on social media?”
With this question, I was ruthless and went deep. The initial answer was straightforward; to share my writing, ideas, and yoga class reminders. No problem there. On the surface that is fine, but there was something bubbling underneath it. There was insecurity arising. It is so easy to go from good intentions to slipping into an unconscious search for validation or connection. Of course, I want people to read my book and blog, engage with me, hear my ideas, come to my yoga classes- if they so choose. It feels great when my life and work resonates with, awakens, or inspires others. However, people’s reaction on social media shouldn’t influence my feelings of worth. I can sometimes feel myself slipping into the hypnotic trance of seeking connection and validation this way. So you see, this seemingly simple question sent me down a rabbit hole of deep inner work. I was forced to clarify my most fulfilling sources of connection. For me, this is found in nature, with myself in contemplation (writing/yoga), and in real time interactions with others. What about the validation? Believe it or not, I don’t need it. What a relief to discover. If it comes, I enjoy it, but it isn’t what drives me. What drives me is doing what I feel deeply called to do whether others like it or not. This is not an easy place to be, but I know it’s where I am supposed to be. I catch myself looking to social media for connection and validation, which I sometimes find, but it’s not lasting and it could easily turn to dependency. So the question one might want to explore is, what is your purpose for sharing content on social media? It doesn’t really matter and there is no right or wrong answer, but it might be helpful to try and see what happens! Maybe the answer is simple. Maybe you like sharing pictures of friends and family because you love them and it makes you happy and that is all there is to it. Beautiful! Or maybe the answer is complex. Maybe you find an oozing Zuckerberg wound and need a therapist. I tend to lean more towards the latter on these matters:)
- What am I consuming and why?
The next question is about what I am imbibing and why? The answer for me is mostly about self-regulation. After a long day of challenges, I find it very soothing and numbing to mindlessly scroll social media. It has a similar effect as drinking alcohol did for me, but much much weaker. I don’t lose consciousness completely and my mind remains clear so it’s not that big of a deal, however I do get that ever so slight ‘hangover’ feeling if I’m on it too long. This is a very tricky one to address. I have to go deep and get to the root of my dysregulation ( aka “stress”), which for me, is rooted in the residual trauma from childhood abuse. It is not easy at all, but is SO much easier than it used to be. It still requires patience, loads of self-love, hard choices, difficult conversations, AND life changes. However, as I work through the hard stuff and my life becomes more aligned, I’m not numb-scrolling as much. This is an example of how when you start pulling on one thread, the whole ugly sweater might unravel. So, a question to ask yourself if you are ready for a new sweater, might be, “What am I consuming on social media and why?”
- “What am I engaging with and sharing and why?”
The final of the three questions. The answer to this one has actually made social media a lot more fun and fulfilling. I really enjoy shouting out friends or locals who are doing creative work, running small businesses, or otherwise being brave and putting themselves out there to heal their life or add something new to the world. When it comes to engaging and sharing other's work, I suspect that many people unconsciously believe this is something only paid-influencers do and don't realize it might actually make their soul happy and the community a better place. I didn't realize it until I became more thoughtful about it. There are also a few people I engage with that I simply find entertaining or particularly authentic, but otherwise I try to stay pretty focused on the mission at hand, so to speak, when it comes to engaging with and sharing others people’s work or content.
I don’t believe social media is evil or going away. For those who don’t use it and are happy as clams, that’s great. For those who feel like it is destroying their lives and can’t stop, I feel for you. I think, for the moment, I land somewhere in the middle. My hope is to continue to move in the direction of using it as a tool for waking up rather than a drug for numbing out.
Hope this helps!
Stay cozy!
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